‘The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas’ @ Art Centre Theatre

—Jan Farrington

Whee, dogies.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen this one, the 1978 musical that once made Texas grannies do a spit-take with the sweet tea. (And that was just for the title.) But the nice folks at Plano’s Art Centre Theatre must have been feeling like some boot-scootin’ fun—and danged if The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas doesn’t hold up pretty well. I caught one of the final performances, and nobody onstage (or off) seemed to be tired of it yet—which is saying something.

Director Jamey Jamison pulled lots of energy out of a good cast (with some really great voices)—and even if some of the characters are meant to be cartoonish, TBLWIT tells a wild story that still feels like it has a few funny and true things to say about our Texas.

It’s about 50 years since the story of the Chicken Ranch (a popular brothel near La Grange) hit the news. The place had been operating along the Houston/Austin highway since about 1905. For most of those years, the sheriff came to call just about every night to see if “guests” had been bragging about crimes—or to handle rowdy visitors. Sometime during the Depression, Miss Jessie (the first of two women who ran the place) began offering to trade one chicken for one sexual act—and a side hustle was born.

In the early ‘70s (probably urged on by some publicity-shy local and state officials), Houston TV reporter Marvin Zindler started investigating the Ranch and Miss Edna, the lady then in charge. Dolph Briscoe, the governor at the time, officially “closed” the operation in 1973, though no Texas officials (as in the show) seemed too keen on being The Person Responsible for it.

Peter Masterson and Texas author Larry L. King wrote the script, whose Texas-twang dialogue feels pretty much like the real deal (maybe on steroids). The songs by Carol Hall aren’t all that memorable, but have a nice bounce, and there are some good ones, including “A Li’l Bitty Ole Pissant Country Place” (that’s one adjective too many, but a good tune), “Twenty-four Hours of Lovin’,” the wistful “A Hard Candy Christmas,” which has found its way into many a country Christmas revue—and a song that wasn’t in the Broadway show but added to the movie version of Best Little Whorehouse, Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You,” sung beautifully by Krystal Lancaster as Miss Mona, the “madam” of the story.

Other singing standouts in the show included Sydney Turnbow as the working girl Angel, and Tara Nicole as a friendly cafe owner who pulls a blues-y surprise on us with a torch song that’s named for her, “Doatsy Mae.” Even the governor of Texas takes a turn, with a sly song called “The Sidestep,” detailing his slick maneuvers to keep from having to make a public decision about the Chicken Ranch’s fate. (Bill Kolander performed on the night I saw the show; he alternated with Sam Baker.)

Shae Hardwick went wild as scandal-sniffing TV reporter Melvin P. Thorpe (he shared the role with Tomer Braff). Bo Show (or BoBo Benny, depending on what page of the program you’re looking at) played the scared-pantsless state senator Wingwoah, who’s brightly embroidered sport coat is the best example of the “embellished” Texas costumes of the show—cute, whoever did them. Lancaster as Miss Mona was great at portraying that lady’s hard and soft spots (especially in her scenes with Byron Frazier as her special friend, Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd). And Mary Jo Christian was warm and funny as good-church-lady-with-a-shotgun Jewel, Miss Mona’s faithful sidekick.

Director Jamison is listed also as “tech”—and I’m not sure if that takes in things like the short video segments that played along with the stage action (they were pretty clever), and the lighting, which featured some strobe stuff that gave a sexy vibe to the ladies’ more wiggly dances (choreographed by Kayla Bonina). Anyway…if you haven’t seen it by now, dude—you missed it. This isn’t a vintage show you’ll see a lot; it sure was a hoot to watch it again. Bless their hearts.

WHEN: November 3-19, 2023
WHERE: 1400 Summit Avenue, Plano TX
WEB: artcentretheatre.com (Next up: A Christmas Story, December 1-17)